Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
