I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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