Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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