For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
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sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
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I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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