do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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