Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize