he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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