Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
