Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
