guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
