This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
