used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
