I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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