Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i would punch a child for taco bell
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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