i think i have herpe
just one?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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