I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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