And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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