You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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