Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
