this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
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Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
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Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize