Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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