Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
