Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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