i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize