return my video game
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
