Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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