Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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