How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
