are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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