Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
