Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize