Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
