in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Boobs are out for the taking
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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