i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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