Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. Iām going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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