Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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