For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
