my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
How external is "for external use only"?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
