Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
