How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He shit in the fireplace
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
