Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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