Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
