I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
