Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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