Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
