Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
