Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
