I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
