it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Randomize
