make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Four minutes until I can fart!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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