I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
