If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
