Taylor Swift is so right about you.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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