Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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