so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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